First to Fall
by UmbreonShun
Summary: A misunderstanding has lead Touya to loose the love his life, N, and allowed Team Plasma to begin their plans for world domination.  TouyaxN
1. That Which is Lost

Important note: This takes place in the game universe and, thus, is based solely on the game and how I interpreted Touya's personality. Due to this fact, he might not be portrayed as how others might have seen him, please understand that I have a right to see him differently.

Touya is the male player character, for those of you that know him by a different name. I chose this name to use as it seems more human than Black and I cannot stand his English name.

Please do not flame if you do not like the pairing or malexmale in general, as this is, obviously, what this fic revolves around.

I do not own Pokemon, it belongs to its respected creators.

XX

Darkness erased by the eliminating lights of the park's rides. The darkness still full of life as it smiled at me, mocking me, with its unchanged joy. Neon streamers that danced as if this was the only night in the world while people laughed under them. Holding hands and smiling as they entered the rides. The pavement littered with contents and the trash cans empty. Dealers called to the people, challenging them to take on their game to win some sort of prize. Everything and everyone was in motion; happy with a world that they did not know. The only stationary object was the person sitting on the bench beside the Ferris Wheel.

The lights of the park were blinded as the hours grew later and people began to vanish, yet, even as they dropped to a one digit number, the lights never stopped shining. Still they laughed and enjoyed their night even when their only company were the empty benches, trash cans, and rides that were standing still. Even when I, on that bench next to the Ferris Wheel, was the only remaining human being in there.

Not a thing was different and I knew it never would be. So...why did I still think that the world, and people, were capable of change? Why would a stationary ride change to reflect to the fall of a person that it never cared to know? How much of a fool was I to believe in the word "hero"? Though, if I said that I no longer cared, would it be an all-out lie? I never thought that I could miss someone so much that it would effect who I am this badly. They said that I was strong, but that was the most brutal lie of them all.

The soft, purple head of my Zorua rubbed against my chest as he tried desperately to gain my attention. I gazed at the Ferris Wheel, ignoring the small creature. Watching it just made me feel so much worse, but there was something that drew me to it. Were it and Zorua really the only memories that I had left of him?

Frustrated with my behavior, the purple fox sunk his teeth into my unsuspecting hand. Surprised, I quickly pulled my hand away from him as he growled loudly. Blood dripping down my pale hand from the teeth marks that he had left behind.

"Ow...Why did you do that?" I said as I examined my hand. It was a small wound, but I had to admit that it kind of hurt. It was more of the fact that my own Pokemon had actually bitten me than it was the wound. He would have never done this before, but he was becoming fed up with me and I could see it in the eyes as he glared back at me.

His only response was a small cry of displeasure. His taunting eyes mocked me as he challenged my newfound apathy, realizing far too late that his gaze only hurt me more. There was sorrow in his motions now as he climbed into my lap to lick at the hand that he had bitten.

"It's not your fault." I placed my hand on his head, acknowledging his concern for the first time. I knew that it hurt him, too, but for some reason I never put much thought into the reason for his suffering. Now I could see that he was missing someone just as badly as I was. At the rate this was falling, he would never get the chance to see his mother again.

The sound of a familiar pair of heels rang across the cement of the park's walkways, the footsteps becoming increasingly louder as they approached me and their owner's shadow cast over me. I could only guess at the look those blue eyes were giving me as I kept my own eyes fixed on Zorua. My attempts at avoidance were strikingly obvious, worsening the situation.

"Touya!" Came the hiss of her voice as she stomped the ground with one of her shoes. Lifting my head at the harsh sound, my eyes finally met hers and she had every intention to leave it that way. Annoyance laced through those stunning blue eyes and her posture reflected her anger. Standing as tall as she could make herself, with a hand on her hip, she loomed over me.

"Hi, Elesa," I said, making note not to sit up straight in fear of provoking her further. She really had every right to be angry with me, but I found myself wishing that she would just overlook the miniature train wreck that sat on her bench. Being the Nimbasa City gym leader and the owner of the amusement park, she could have kicked my sorry butt out sooner, but she was being merciful to me.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips, "You know, there are many different types of people in this world. Some are bond to disagree with you and you may end up getting hurt by them. It is really nothing to get this upset about." I was grateful that she had toned down the lecture to a few sentences, but it still meant the same thing. I knew what she was driving at, but my stupid ways had me wanting to prove her wrong.

"We weren't _that_different." I admit that probably should not have said that, but there was no way that I was going to let her win that easily. Yeah, I wanted to vomit and burry my head in shame, but being a teenager meant that you have to make someone's life difficult.

She leaned closer to me, putting her nose just inches away from mine. Her eyes glaring into mine, as her face showed clear signs of frustration with me. She looked as if she wanted to slap me. Here she was trying to help me and here I was simply trying to deny the truth that was so clearly written on my face.

"Now listen, Touya, when people are in trouble it is my responsibility to chime in and help them out. That goes for chosen heroes as well." Pulling her face away from mine as she finished that last part, making sure to get the point across to me. She stared me down as she waited for my reply.

"I can't even save one person. Where did Reshiram get the idea that I was a hero?" With one quick motion, her hand flashed across my face. Instinctively, my hand was drawn to where she had slapped me as my mind to tried to catch up to the moment, blinking a few times. It took me a few moments to come out of the shock of the action. I know that she was angry with me, but I never imagined that I could make her that mad. My eyes fixed on the ground, avoiding her gaze.

"I am not here to listen to you question the choices made by your Pokemon. I respected you as a trainer when you defeated, but you are no trainer now," She snapped, causing Zorua to recoil back in fright. "Besides, if you don't get going then N will have the better of you. Team Plasma's plans have been put into gear and there is no going back. Do you really want Pokemon and people to lose one another?" She added, lowering her voice after realizing that she had frightened Zorua and that I needed time to digest everything that she was saying.

I knew that she was right, but a part of me did not want to admit it. I had been ignoring the world as Team Plasma was convincing people to release their Pokemon. They had already gotten at least a quarter of the world's trainers to follow their role. I knew that it was my responsibility as Reshiram's hero to stop them, especially since I was all too aware of the secret motive behind their plans. Yet, I could not say the words out loud. Why? That was simple, I did not want to fight him. Somewhere and somehow, I still believe that he did not betray me.

"I know, Elesa." My voice sounded shaky and my eyes could not hold hers, making my words very weak. I did want to save the Pokemon and the world, but what people seemed to not realize that I am simply one person. I am only human and no different, or better, than any other person. Being Reshiram's chosen did not automatically make me invincible, even though that appeared to be the common belief. I didn't want to fight N either and, even if I did, I doubt that I would be able to ignore everything and defeat him.

"Fine, if it's the only way. Touya, I want to have a battle with you! Show me the confident trainer that battled me when you won your fourth badge! Beat me without Reshiram and prove that you are still that person!" Elesa declared. She really was something else, but there was no way that I was going to be able to weasel my way out of it. She would kick me out, or worse...she would go and find Cheren. He was the last person that I wanted to see right now. I feared what his reaction to my current self would be and he was always getting angry with me without the added drama.

"All right." I admit that was not too enthusiastic about having to battle an angered Gym Leader, but it was better than be dragged to my own demise. A smile lit across her face as she grabbed my hand and forcefully yanked me onto my feet. I could tell that she was not going to go easy on me. In fact, by the look in her eyes, it seemed she intended to make this as difficult for me as possible.

Elesa wasted no time at all as she called out Emolga before I was given a chance to stand up. A sigh escaped my lips as I stood up, attempting to keep up with the pace that she had set. She seemed too into the idea of batting for how late it was.

"Serperior..." I stated as I tossed her pokeball in to the air. A flash of light exploded from the ball as the snake-like creature emerged from her Pokeball. Her eyes quite clearly displayed her annoyance at being dragged out so late at night. A small hiss escaped her mouth as she spotted the Emolga, remembering the annoying creature from our gym battle some time ago.

"Emolga, use volt switch!" Elesa called to her Pokemon, who eagerly responded to its trainer's command with a small cry. The pokemon's body sped at Serperior, bursting into light as it rammed into her before returning to its pokeball to allow a second Emolga to take its place.

Serperior far out leveled Elesa's Pokemon, almost making the battle pointless. She couldn't prove a point by simply fighting this way. It would take her almost the entire night to even start to phase Serperior, who was more annoyed by the Pokemon running away than she was about being hit. Serperior disliked Elesa's battling style, as it drove her crazy, but she was gym leader for a reason. After all, Elesa was no push over, especially to trainers that battled her for a gym badge. She keeps her battles at a fast pace to keep newer trainers from getting confident in the battle. It worked, too.

"Serperior, use-" I was cut off as something ran right into me, knocking me to the ground. Glancing around I tried to locate whatever had ran into me, but she was already racing towards Elesa. She was barely able to stop herself from plowing into her as she stuttered out a series of unrecognizable words to the gym leader. Her hands and arms were flailing left and right as she attempted to get the words out.

Sighing a bit, I got off of the ground. Bianca had a bad habit of not only ignoring her surroundings, but of also being a bit unreliable. Even though I have known her for years, she still managed to take me by surprise. I doubted that she even knew that I was the one that she had ran into. Knowing her, she probably thought that she had hit a bench.

"Bianca, what's wrong?" I asked, quickly forgiving her for running into me. It was not unusual to see her in such a state as she tended to act out when anything remotely bad happens. Then again, she almost had heart attack when she picked a flower, but that was when we were kids.

"Touya...! Team Plasma! Cheren's in trouble...!" Was about all that she said that was coherent enough for me to understand, but it was all that I needed. Before waiting for Elesa's reply, I started running. Zorua and Serperior chased after me as Elesa followed with Bianca not far behind her. My mind was telling me not to get involved with Team Plasma again, but my body was moving on its own. I could not deny the fact that I wanted to see him...to save him, even though I knew that it would only end up hurting me more.

My pace died as I allowed my thoughts to take the lead. Cheren would be fine without me, and his pride would never allow him to ask for my help. He was still angry with me - in fact, he might even hate me. I had been avoiding him, in fear of a fight, for so long that I could barely remember his words that day. Everything was already broken, so why did I feel the need to try to fix what I had broken? My feet stopped.

"Touya, hurry!" Elesa shouted as she passed me, never looking back to see if I was still running. Bianca followed close after her as Zorua and Serperior waited beside me. Their eyes were transfixed on me as I stared at the ground. My thoughts poisoning me with each and every new idea. Their negativity engulfing me with flames that felt like the intensity of a thousand burning knives. Their words were a dull knife that was held by...

"Zo! Zorua! Ra!" Zorua cried as loudly as his small body would allow. My attention was stolen from my thoughts and brought to the Pokemon at my side. His tiny body shook with fear, but his eyes gleamed with fire. A low growl came from his throat as he rammed his head into my legs in an attempt to push me. He continuously tired to force me forward, but he was too weak to even move me an inch.

Serperior's eyes glared at me like daggers. Her body was still as she waited for me, having faith in me that I did not have myself. Her whole form simply anticipated my next movement. Her patience was strung with disappointment as she watched the smaller Pokemon's attempts to move me.

My selfishness was broken when I heard someone scream, though the voice was unknown to me. At that point, I knew that I had let Team Plasma go too far. It was my responsibility to stop them...to stop N. As much as I disliked the idea of having to fight him, I had clearly run out of options. N had betrayed me and I needed to get that into my head before it was too late.

Glancing down at Zorua, I let a weak smile come across my face. A yip of pleasure came from his mouth as he jumped onto my shoulders, rubbing his face against mine. His eyes were burning with a will to fight that well surpassed my own, even though he could be forced to fight his very mother. "Serperior, return!" I called as pointed her Pokeball at her. A pleased grin came across her face as she retreated to her Pokeball and I began to run towards the city.


	2. That Which has Cried

A single light was on and it belonged to the Pokemon Center of Nimbasa City; it was pitch black aside from that solitary being. There was no one on the streets; it was empty. I had never seen the city so dead, it was as if all of the life had been stolen from it. The city was usually a vibrant and effervescent place, even during the early morning hours. Yet, today, there was a nothing that ate away the joy from its heart. I had seen this scene a million times before, but it felt distant and cold this time. I felt as if the world had rejected me from its warm embrace.

The threatening glare from the city's atmosphere loomed over me as I attempted to locate Tam Plasma. With every second that passed the sky grew darker and my need to help the others grew stronger. My legs ached as if I had been running for hours, yet it had not been very long at all. I knew that in my heart I did not have the courage to face N, but my body was moving without guidance from own insanity. My mind was racing with a thousand thoughts for every step that I took, but I was far too involved to read them over.

My feet slid to a screaming halt near the gates that lead to the Small Courts, as Zorua let out a cry of anger. My vision focused in on a single figure out of a group of over twenty. N's presence was sickening and hurtful to my terrified eyes. There was no one else in the world that I wanted to avoid so much, despite the fact that I desperate to make things right again. My fist clenched into a tight ball as if it could hold off the many emotions that were assaulting me all at once.

I could feel my body tremble with a hate that simply screamed to be let out, though my heart ached with a longing that burned through my flesh. My mind was so confused and my emotions were so contradicting that I could barely understand what I was even doing. It felt as if I was both winning an important Pokemon battle and losing someone while doing so. I admit that it was unlike me, but I hadn't been the same since that day and everyone was all too aware of it.

Without too much time to regret my choice, I forced my feet from the prison that seemed to bind to the spot where I had been standing. My walk was half-hearted and I could not make myself look strong. Yet, I knew that I had to be...at least for Zorua, if no one else. I could at least do this for him, even if it meant facing N for the first time since that day.

I was not the person that I was back then. No, I was far weaker and much more insecure. I hated who I had become, but I had allowed myself to change without even putting up a fight. I had watched my world pass me by and vanish from my hands; leaving me alone. It was too late to go back and it was about time that I learned to deal with the reality of it all.

My foot steps echoed loudly in my ears like the sound of a beating drum of war. It was as if each and every step that I took was a battle that I barely won. The few yards that I walked felt like a hundred miles of agony. It was as if these few yards added up to more than my journey around Unova.

I could feel their eyes watching me as I closed the distance between us. I could only dream to guess their thoughts of me, though I would rather not. I felt as if Cheren's eyes were attempting to rip me apart from the inside while N's lacked any sign of emotion to hint at his feelings. As much as I wanted to turn away from those eyes, I could no longer bring myself to run from fate. That was beyond me, at least for the time being.

The footstep that brought me beside Elesa and Bianca rang like the sound of a gunshot. I did not deserve to stand beside them, nor did I deserve to attempt to save anyone. I could, quite clearly, see the hatred that my old friend held for me. He remained proud, even though he had been captured by Team Plasma; the same person that he had always been. His pride would be the death of him, but I suppose that would be better than ending up like me. At least he was able to face himself and his problems, a trait which I had always admired him for.

I allowed my eyes to scan the area in an attempt to take in the entire scene. Up until now I had been so concerned with facing N that I had completely ignored my surroundings. In front of the Small Courts stood, roughly, fifteen members of Team Plasma holding Cheren's wounded body up. How Cheren had gotten himself in such a mess was unknown to me. N stood in front of his followers, facing Elesa and completely ignoring me. His eyes looked wicked and so very different than I remembered them. Across from, by quite a few yards, Elesa, Bianca, and I stood.

There was almost no light where we were and what little light was brought upon us by the moon. Its glow basked Team Plasma in an eerie light that threatened the very existence of this night. The lack of light made details difficult to point out by sight alone, giving Team Plasma an advantage over us. Escape would be a simple thing for them and it made me afraid to know what they were truly after. Nothing good was going to happen and that truth was so painfully blunt by the look on N's face.

"Do we have a deal?" Came N's voice. It sounded so familiar, yet so cruel at the same time. The innocent victim that he once was seemed to have died. He was no longer the person that I had loved. In fact, I no longer even knew who he was. He was a stranger to me and that fact alone hurt more than the actual fight. I would have rather had him hate me like Cheren.

"No, as a Gym Leader I have a duty to protect this world and the people in it. I understand that some scarifies will have to be made, but this world that this was the world that out ancestors died to bring about. I want my world to remain and I will do anything to protect the ideal of living in peace with my partners. Please leave my city." Elesa's voice was powerful and lacked any half-hearted tones. She stood proudly against Team Plasma, her eyes burning with a flame of anger. Her presence was enough to get her point across as she glared down N. At the moment, she was the strongest person that I had ever had the chance to see.

"That's too bad..." N stated as his eyes shifted from Elesa to Cheren. A look of fake sorrow flashed across his face, though the darkness made it very difficult to make out. His back turned to us as he walked the few feet between where he was and where the rest of Team Plasma had been waiting for him. A nod sent them on their way out.

He turned to look at us, but his green eyes landed solely on me. A sudden urge to look away from him came across me, but I denied it. I stood firm, believing in Elesa's will despite the fact that I had very little of an idea as to what was truly happening. My brown eyes glared into his, freezing over with a cold-hearted anger that surprised even myself. I refused to be the weakest among my friends, even if I could feel my hands start to shake. I hated being even this close to him, yet I had to fight the urge to run to him. It was all so contradicting that I questioned if my feelings even made any sense at all.

A faint smile that could kill the devil came across his lips as he turned away from me. His footsteps echoed as he walked away, falling after the other Team Plasma members. His body moving in a manner that mocked Elesa's defiance, disagreeing with whatever she had done. With a quiet wave, he vanished from my sight.

A soft "thud" broke the silence that haunted Nimbasa City as Bianca fell to the ground. Her hands hiding her eyes as she tired to fight back the tears that fell from her face. Her efforts were fruitless, though, and she broke out into a sob that made my blood run cold. Her sorrow filled cries destroyed Nimbasa's taciturn night and forced a song of agony to creep its way across the city. Her body vibrating from her own power as she lost herself in the grief that had taken over her once cheerful mind.

"Bianca! What's wrong?" I called as I went over to her. She did not answer me, though, it was as if she could not hear me. I knelt beside her and lightly put my hand on her head. Everything always ended in way that displayed my helplessness to save anyone. I could do nothing for her, yet I wanted to make her happy again. Others would be able to heal her pain, yet I would not be able to. I knew that I would only end up hurting her if I tired to do anything more.

"W-will he be all...right?' Bianca whispered through her sobs, making the words difficult to understand even as she tired to speak again. It seemed as if she would fall to pieces if you even looked at her the wrong way. She was always quick to cry, but I had never seen her so upset before. This time was different, but I could not find the reason for her tears.

"I don't know..." Elesa stated as she starred off in the direction that Team Plasma had vanished into. Her hand in a fist as she glared down the emptiness that stood before her. She seemed angry with the horrid team, but made no effort to chase after them. Her action less motion was unlike her usual spark of life. Her eyes showed that she wanted to beat them down, but she did not pursue this effort.

"What's going on?" I finally stated the words that had been nagging me ever since Team Plasma had left with Cheren. I did not want to upset Bianca any further, but I simply needed to know. Their reactions were too extreme, or they seemed to be, which made me worry. There was nothing stopping Elesa from chasing them, yet she remained; planted to the ground. There was nothing for Bianca to be so upset about, yet she was sobbing on the cement.

"Nothing, Touya." Came Elesa's simple response. Her words were cold and defensive. She did not look at me when she spoke, instead she glared at the ground. She clearly wanted nothing to do with the situation, or with me for that matter. She seemed bitter and defeated, not even allowing her eyes to watch Bianca's broken form.

"Don't lie to me, Elesa." My words brought a challenge to her own, clashing with her seemingly aggressive stance. I was not one to argue with the gym leaders, but I am also not one to follow orders without question. Her words were far too off for her natural state of mind. Her kindness was dead, but her will to fight had been murdered and buried. I could see nothing in her frozen eyes, but her fist twitched with the intensity of a newly lit match.

"Touya...don't...please," Bianca sobbed, barely able to speak through her tears. Her weak voice was muffled by her hands, but her words were clear enough to shine.

Her body shook as she tired to regain herself, but she was unable to do so. Her pride had been destroyed and it seemed as if she no longer cared about her appearance in our eyes. It was as if she had lost her will to stand and could not find a hand to help her up.

"Bianca, What's wrong? Tell me what is going on," My attempt at reason was met only with her tears as she no longer seemed to have the strength to speak. Her defeated form mocked the very grip that we truly had on the world, displaying Team Plasma's dominance over us. Her figure a portrait of our helplessness against their power. The heat of her despair burned through the pavement that lie beneath her scorched form.

"Team Plasma has captured Cheren and we do not know what they plan to do with him," Elesa finally replied. There was a poison in her words as she spoke and her tone stung deep. Her nature forced me to think that she believed that we would be unable to rescue him. Though, if rescuing him was an option...then why did they not bother to give chase?

"Then let's rescue him. It's not like Team Plasma really cares about him," I stated, quite plainly and bluntly. I could sense the hostility in my own voice as I spoke. The anger still scared on from the hatred that Cheren had faced me with that day. My mind torn between what was left of my dying pride and what Cheren meant to me as a friend. I had not intended for the words to sound so cruel, yet I had spat them out quite easily. It was enough to make me realize how hopeless I really was.

"It's not that simple!" Bianca screeched, insulted by my statement. Shaking, she forced her legs to stand, which were barely able to hold up her body. Her hands removed from her face which was now imprinted with anger towards me. Her kind eyes glaring like knives as she regained her confidence. Tears stained her face as she tired to appear stronger than everything around her.

"It's your fault..." She whispered through her teeth as her gentle eyes quickly flashed to anger. Her hostile mood took me by surprise and added to my confusion. It was unlike her to get so angry over something, in fact, I could not recall a time where I had ever seen her become so angry.

"Bianca, that's enough; what's done is done," Elesa stated bluntly. Her pride finally snapping under the pressure that she faced. Her powerful and righteous thoughts were now seemingly nothing more than ashes in the snow. Her eyes, witch once painted kindness, now barely had a hint of hope in them. She could no longer hide the regret tracing her eyes. The openness that she displayed regarding her emotions was astonishing.

"Elesa..." There was nothing more that I could say to force the truth from them. My legs pushed my body up to a standing position, having been left kneeling when Bianca had risen. A sigh escaped my lips, barely heard and visible in the blackness of the night.

"Touya..." A long pause passed as Elesa attempted to gain access to her words. "Team Plasma wanted us to hand you over for Cheren, but I could not let them have their way. We need you to stop them," She finished, regret phasing through her eyes the very second after she spoken the words.

My mouth froze, lost without a single word to say. My hand began to tremble as my mind realized the extent of what Elesa had said. My heart felt sick and sore. I could not bring myself to stop all of the horrid thoughts that haunted my mind. In my own world of a Hell that I could never dare to describe and, in that world, I felt as if I had already died.

The touch of something soft brushed against my face as Zorua's concerned eyes stared at me. The fur on his body rubbing against my face as he tired to bring me back, not quite willing to give up on me. His once violent way of solving my problems were behind him as he watched me wither away to dust.

"I have to save him..." Were the only words that I could force out. Despite our fight, and his hatred for me, Cheren was my friend. In fact, he had been my best friend. I was unable to save our friendship, but I could at least save him from the vile team that I had allowed to grow. I could at least do that...even if it was all that I was good for. He might never forgive me, but, as this land's hero, I was bond by fate to protect those that were need of my help.

"You can't, Touya!" Elesa yelled, making her point of view very clear. I understood her stand and the reason behind her feelings, but I was past the point of logical thinking. There was nothing that she could do to stop me, not now. I had let Cheren suffer for far too long, and I could no longer live with myself. I would never allow someone to fall on the blade for me...not ever again.

"I'm sorry, Elesa, but I have to." I was shaking at the thought of running into N, but as much as I wanted to run away, it was no longer an option. I could feel my heart crying at the thought of fighting N, for I knew, no matter how much that I wished to deny it, that I was still in love with him. After all, I was the one at fault, not him. I could at least end everything, even if it meant that I would be risking my life for a man that barely even gave a rat's ass about me.

"Touya, thank God," Bianca whispered, her tears finally coming to a halt. I could see the openness of her relief painted on her pale face. I knew that she loved Cheren and it only hurt me more to have made her suffer so. It was my fault and I was the only one to blame for what I had let N become.

"Don't get caught, we gym leaders already have enough to worry about," Elesa scolded, her eyes quickly showing sings of displeasure. There was nothing in her body language that indicated any sign of approval, but she had caved. She knew that there was not a thing on this earth that could stop me now.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine," I said, all too aware of how much of a lie those words were. If he...N, caught me I would be unable to face him and come out the victor. Reshiram refused to come out, which would leave N an easy victory with the darker of the two dragons. Yet, I had waited for too long, I would have to fight Team Plasma without the aid of Reshiram.

My brown eyes wandered their faces, possibly seeing Bianca and Elesa for the last time. I had known them for quite some time, yet they looked very different tonight. Perhaps I had never bothered to take in their details, as it would have been possible for me to simply see them the very next day. This time, though, I was not granted permission to use such naive logic.

I tore my eyes from them only to turn my back to them as I walked away. My feet following in the direction that Team Plasma had retreated in, hoping that my brain would still be able to lead me to them. Even now, I knew N's way of thinking and was confident in my ability to find him.

My weak will was running very thin, yet I could not bring myself to stop. My fear and hate consumed my heart, but I somehow found a way to justify my choice. Cheren hated me and I still felt like vomiting at the thought of battling N, but I knew that my problems seemed trivial to the people who were suffering at Team Plasma's mercy. My efforts were fruitless, yet I could not force myself to stop.


	3. That Which has Died

Light washed over the path as day broke the silent night. The sounds of life rose from the scattered homes as their masters awoke to welcome the sun's grace. The warm light smiled at its victims, as it grew in its slumber. The world bloomed with a vibrant life that flushed out the darkness' reign. So soft in its movements that its shine could bring tears. Its dance of grace braced the world for its powerful influence. No longer hidden in the shadows and safety of the night, the sun attacked the most cruel of men.

I was a lone figure in its search for everlasting joy. Its warmth only brought shadows to my face as the sun dragged on past me. My body wishing to rest, yet my determination refused to grant it that pleasure. My mind felt numb to the world and the sun's embrace, but that alone was not enough to end my pursuit. The route to Black City had never been so peaceful, but I could not be allowed to enjoy it. I knew that they had to be around this area.

My feet forced themselves after the small, purple creature that lead me on. His nose just barely above the ground as he trailed after Team Plasma's scent. His tail waved from side to side as his tiny paws carried him as fast as possible. I trusted his sense of smell to locate Team Plasma, but it seemed as if they had vanished off of the face of this planet.

I was tired due to my lack of sleep, or my massive amount of thoughts, the night before. I clearly had not been thinking when I set out to rescue Cheren. I had been so set on the task of fighting Team Plasma that I had not even bothered to come up with any sort of a plan. It was embarrassing, to say the least. I had never been one for planning, though, that was Cheren's job.

"Zorua, you're leading us in circles..." I stated as we passed across the bridge for the tenth time that morning. The pokemon had been pulling me along all night, but we had yet to gain any ground since we had left. It was worse than admitting to the fact that I had no clue as to what I was going to do when we actually, if we actually, managed to find Team Plasma.

A growl came from the creature who, evidently, believed that I had disturbed his searching. His tail flicked at me as he turned to glare at me. His eyes only remained on mine for a few moments before he quickly returned to his tracking.

Giving in to the pokemon, I continued to follow him as we passed through the Marvelous bridge once, but Zorua did not turn around this time. He kept going, leaving the bridge behind as he headed towards Black City. His tail was held high with pride as he picked up the pace, forcing me to jog after him. His tiny paws carrying him quickly across the ground, as he raced to leave me behind.

His race came to a halt as he slid to a stop just in front of the entrance to Black City. His fur stood on end as his small body vibrated from the deep growls that danced through his mouth. He had found Team Plasma and he was determined to let them know about it.

"Zoura!" The pokemon called out loudly, causing the two hidden pawns of Team Plasma to jump out, revealing their location to the world. Shock laced their faces, now aware of the fact that they had just given their organization away. Their dumbfounded faces looked to one another for guidance, but neither member seemed to know the answer that they sought. Their confused faces turned to me, a mild hint of anger in them.

"What are you doing here?" The female member called out, attempting to force my eyes away from the male, who ran into Black City. It was easy to assume that he went to get help and that she planned to stall for him. Their plan was stamped on their foreheads, though it did not bother me too much.

"I'm looking for Cheren. Where is he?" I stated, giving the girl a bit of a break. She was, very clearly, a new member of Team Plasma. It would be a waste of my time to press the matter onto her, as she most likely did not even know that they had kidnapped someone. Ghetsis was far too clever of a man to trust new members with important information, especially considering how close he was to actually achieving his goal.

"I don't know who you're talking about, but I can't let lord N's whishes be ruined by some kid!" She yelled, pulling out a Pokeball from her pocket. Her fist clenched tightly around the Pokeball, as doubt passed through her eyes. Shaking her head, she launched the ball into the air releasing a Purrloin. "Don't let them pass!" She shouted to the pokemon.

"Zorua, use bite." It wouldn't take much to beat such a low level pokemon, but I thought that giving her a fighting chance would be all right. I had time, as I was waiting for the man to return with a higher ranking member.

Zorua's quick feet propelled him forward at the Purrloin, His sharp fangs

dug into the creature's neck, as he tightened his hold on its throat. A small cry of pain came from the pokemon as it struggled to free itself from Zorua's grip. Though, the Purrlion's attempts were in vain and it was unable to shake Zorua off. His victory had been displayed by his power over the other Pokemon's desperate form.

"Ah! Purrloin!" The Team Plasma member shouted. She looked as if she would cry at any moment. I could see her body shaking with fear for her partner, but she did not have the strength to call out a command to it. She appeared to be frozen by a fear that she had never known. She had clearly never battled before, which made me wonder why Ghetsis had thrown the poor girl onto the frontline.

"Zorua!" I called, taking pity on the terrified woman. Battling her like this wouldn't do anyone any good, especially me. At my call, Zorua released his grip on the exhausted pokemon. He backed away, though he was still leery of the Purrloin. A growl came from his throat, threatening the pokemon in case it decided to attack.

"Purrloin!" The woman yelled as she ran to the aid of her pokemon. Her loving arms wrapped themselves about the Purrloin's small body, cradling the creature. Tears steamed down her face, as if someone had killed the creature. She buried her face into the pokemon's purple fur, as if hiding her disgrace from the world. Her pride and love would not allow her to be seen in such a horrendous state. It would make her precious Team Plasma look weak and she could never allow that to happen.

"It'll be fine, just take it to the Pokemon Center," I said. Her distress over the pokemon seemed extreme to me, but I could not judge her moral standards. I am not a person high on pride, as I have been broken too many times before. Yet, the child-like innocence that she displayed was so locked from the world that I could not simply allow her to suffer. It would be wrong if I left her there, thinking that I had severely wounded her friend.

The sound of running feet echoed through the area, dominating the peaceful nature of the place. Their loud thuds broke the harmony and darkened the mood. It was as if the sun had abandoned their wills, allowing only hate to fill their rhythm they moved. Left without a care, they advanced towards us without even doubting their task.

I turned around just in time to come face to face with ten members of Team Plasma. They stood in an even line, so organized that it was enough to make one ill. Their eyes were blank, reading nothing into their job and showing no sign of emotion as they stood. Their threatening presence loomed over me, clearly not allowing any form of mercy to be take upon their victims.

There was silence from the group as the sound of two more pairs of footsteps danced through the air. The first quickened, revealing his face to me as the girl's friend. He was out of breath as he joined the other members, his form disrupting their near prefect posture. The second pair passed in front of the group and belonged to N, who stood only a few feet from myself.

My confidence had died the moment that he had arrived. My heart had dropped into my stomach and I felt sick. I could feel myself shaking, but not due to fear. I did not fear him, but the reality of the situation scared me to death. I felt like a child who had just been separated from his family with, seemingly, no hope of finding them again. I wanted to run, or just vanish, but I could not force my legs to move.

My throat felt dry and I barely held the strength to stand. I felt like I was dying just at the thought of having to face him. Helplessness gripped onto me with no intention of letting go, as my anxiety grew in power. I couldn't pull my terrified eyes from the man that stood there, drawn to him like a mouth to a flame. I was trapped in his strength and in my own heart; a cage that held no key.

I realized then that I had made a mistake. I had not been ready to face N. I had failed Cheren, Bianca, and Elesa. I had ruined the gym leaders' trust and faith in me. I had become weak by letting the world leave me behind in my own misery. I had become a coward by all other names; branded by a sin that I could not erase. I had lost my will to fight and the right to embrace tomorrow.

A small, yet brave, growl ripped from the throat of the pokemon that stood at my feet. His small body shaking with fear as his fiery eyes glared at N. His form standing in front of me, as if he could protect me from my fate. His spirit still strong and unbroken. His loyalty to me fixed him in place as he supported himself with a courage that I no longer possessed.

I clenched my fist, digging my nails into the flesh of my palm. Ignoring the pain that surged through my body, as I fought to stop my sorrow from displaying on my face. My teeth locked, resisting my weakness, as I tried to regain my lost composure. Blood dripped from my hand, running down my fingers before it finally hit the ground. My heart shattered at the sound, now fully aware of how lost I was. Pieces that I would never be able to fix were out of my grasp.

"Where is Cheren?" I asked, my voice held strong as I held back my fear. Drowning out the horrid feeling of heartbreak with the pain in my hand. I was not a child and I could not act as one. I had to pick up the pieces that I could find, even if it meant leaving my heart broken for the rest of my life. That was the cost of my uselessness and of my failure. I had to pay for what I had started.

"Back at the castle." His words were lifeless. There was not a hint of hope in them, or any trace of the N that I had known. He was a stranger to me and everything that I had ever known about the world. He was no longer the man that was overflowing with care for his friends, or the man that wished to save pokemon from trainers. He had become something that I could no longer reach; something intangible and fake.

"Let me go, N, or I'll end Team Plasma right here and now," My words meant little without the aid of Reshiram. I knew that I could not defeat Team Plasma without the white dragon, but they were not aware of my predicament. I would still be able to trick them into thinking that Reshiram was still fighting beside me. I had betrayed the dragon's trust when I gave up on the world and, now, I would have to earn it back the hard way.

"How do you plan to win? You're outnumbered," N stated bluntly, seemingly unhappy with my bluff. It was true that I was outnumbered, but defeating the Team Plasma grunts would be an easy task. I did not need Reshiram to beat them, however, beating N was an entirely different story. Zekrom would wreak havoc on me, if I could not get Reshiram to obey me. It would be suicide to face N without the dragon's aid.

"I didn't come all of this way to lose to someone who no longer has a will of his own." I stood my ground, not willing to let Zoura defend me in vain. If he was willing to face his mother than the least that I could do was stand against N. Even if I lost, it would be better than running away again. I had let Ghetsis have free reign for far too long and I had allowed too many trainers to suffer the loss of their beloved pokemon to lies.

"You can't win. Just...give up, Touya," N said. A hint of sorrow laced his words as he looked at me. His eyes full of sadness, something that surprised me. He seemed more familiar to me at that moment, as he seemingly struggled with his will to battle me. I wanted to reach out and help him, but I knew that he was beyond my aid. Part of me could not fight back my wish to end this without a fight, but he rest understood that it was impossible.

"I can't, N, not unless you disband Team Plasma," I said, the pain of my words echoed around the area, engulfing us. As much as I regretted them, I could not take them back. This fight was unavoidable, which made it so much worse. If I could have backed down, I probably would have. I was a coward, but at least I knew better than to abandon Cheren. This, if it was everything, was all that I could do for him.

"Then...you've left me no choice," N stated, his words regaining their strength. He pulled a pokeball from his belt and, with a newfound power, tossed it into the air. A shrill cry sounded as a ray of light molded into his Carracosta. The creature stood at ready as she starred with hatred at me. Her eyes gave away her disguise as Zoroark. Nothing in her movements made me feel that she gave any sort of a rat's ass for me. In fact, she looked as if she wanted to eat me alive.

I reached for Serperior's pokeball, but a sharp pain called my hand away. Tiny fangs clung to my hand as if life itself depended on it, while Zoura's tiny legs kicked in the air. His eyes glared up at me as he finally released my sore hand. A yip came from his throat, his body trembling with fear, but he refused to back down. He wanted to be the one to battle his mother, of whom he recognized despite of the illusion that she stole.

"Okay, Zorua..." I stated, allowing the pokemon to race onto the battle ground. His fur stood on end and his eyes locked onto his enemy. He forced thought from his mind, trusting my ability to command him. His body was motionless, not allowing any of his precious energy to be wasted. He was serious this time, but I had my doubts.

"Zorua, break the illusion! Use Pursuit!" I called to the pokemon. Zorua leapt at Carracosta, who made no effort to avoid the attack. His mouth wrapped around the pokemon's arm, digging his fangs into her flesh. The hit forced the pokemon to reveal herself as Zoroark, though it was easy to see that N had allowed it to happen.

"Zoroark use Night Slash," N stated calmly, his mood back to normal as he commanded the creature. A shrill cry escaped Zoroark's mouth as red light lit up around her claws and she lunged at Zorua. Zorua was sent flying back to my feet. His small body rolling as he smashed into the ground. A cry of pain came from him as he finally came to a halt.

"Zorua!" I yelled, quickly regretting the decision to allow the creature to battle with his mother. He did not stand a chance against her, even though his level was decent. Zorua had refused to evolve and it would be his downfall against his own mother. I had let my pokemon enter a battle that I knew he could not win. Was it wrong of me to let him have his way?

The small pokemon struggled to get up, never losing faith in his strength. His legs shaking with the effort that he was exerting. His eyes burned with an intensity that could melt snow. He refused to give in to Zoroark's immense power. He remained, unafraid of his fate, on his feet.

"Zorua, good job. Quickly, use Ariel Ace!" I called to the pokemon. I knew that there was little that I could do to keep up with Zoroark. She was far stronger than Zorua, but the fox pokemon had made his point very clear. I would not be able to remove Zorua from this battle, it would be too hard for him to walk away.

"Zorua, Zorua!" The pokemon yelled, lunging at Zoroark with all of his strength. His claws flashed out at her, ripping through her. He landed on the ground with a slight thud, thankful for the fact that he had gotten in an attack on her. An angry cry bellowed out from Zoroark, her eyes gleamed with hatred for her child.

"Night Slash," N called, mocking Zorua's inferior attack power with the tone of his voice. Zoroark cried loudly as she clawed at Zorua, brutally beating her child. A cry of pain sounded from Zorua's mouth; his strength leaving him as he tired to stay awake. His body was finally released from her frenzy, as he tumbled back to my feet. His exhausted form trembled in pain and sorrow. He had lost his battle and that was all there was to it. He wanted to be the one to best his mother, but he had been unable to accomplish his goal.

"Zorua, good job, return..." I called as I raised his pokeball, forcing the defeated pokemon to safety. A brick of anger suddenly hit me, as I watched N's Zoroark celebrate her victory. It was as if she felt no shame in beating her son. It even seemed that she was proud of herself. Is this the person that N has become? Have I really let him sink so low? No, now was the time to save him, if I could even do such a thing. This was my last chance to make my point.

"I can't take this! I'll make you show me the truth. Haxorus, let's go, show them our power!" I yelled as I threw the pokeball out, releasing the dragon from his sleep. A loud roar sounded over the battlefield, as Haxorus made his presence known. His powerful eyes glared as N with all of my hate. His aggressiveness towards the man and his pokemon was reflected in his eagerness to fight. This was the only way, or least I had to convince myself that it was.

N's eyes scanned Haxorus, now afraid of the beast that stood before him. He had been so confident before, but it had left him now. Haxorus meant too much to us, even though I knew how cruel it was for me to use it against him. After all, Haxorus had been the one to end everything that night. This creature was all that I am and I would bet everything on him, even if it meant hurting N.

"What's wrong, N? You don't have time to hesitate. Haxorus use Dragon Claw!" A roar tore through the air, as Haxorus' claws flew at the helpless Zoroark. His attack nailed her, sending her flying. Her figure rolled past N, only stopping when she collided with the tree behind him. She was out of the battle; not even able to struggle against Haxorus.

"Return..." N stated, brining the creature back into her pokeball. His green eyes locked onto the contraption, sorrow glazing over them. He paused for a moment before shoving the pokeball back into its place. His hand reached for the pokeball on the far right of his belt, but he hesitated. A twitch of his hand and he grabbed the ball beside it.

"Klinkklang!" He called as he tossed the ball, releasing the gear creature from its home. N's face had changed since the battle had started, he seemed sad. It was as if he had become reluctant to battle any longer. It was as if I was missing something that I had been previously unaware of.

"Come on, attack me!" I yelled. His hesitation was becoming more and more noticeable. It almost made me regret my choice, if not for Cheren, I would have. I never wanted to battle N, especially not like this, but he had given me no other options. I wanted it to end, it was ripping my heart apart. I really couldn't take much more of this senseless battle.

N did not speak, he simply looked at me. His eyes full of pain as he waited. He made no move, or command for his pokemon to follow. My confusion and sense of guilt only increased as I watched him. I truly understood nothing about him. In fact, it simply showed how little I understood emotions.

"Fine...Haxorus use Dragon Claw," I stated, ignoring N's weakness for my own selfish gain. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, as least not for me. A wave of helplessness washed over me, drowning me in agony. I didn't want this and I never had, yet, here I was. Was it fate that threw me away, or could I blame my own cowardly nature?

Haxorus' claws became a shinning blue color and he charged at the poor Klinkklang. Claws ripped through steel and the creature was slammed into the ground, beaten by a half-hearted move. The pokemon's motionless form screamed to me as my mind fought back the memories from that vile night.

"Klinkklang return." A flash of light rescued the destroyed pokemon. N's mind was elsewhere, as he seemingly ignored the suffering of his dearest friends. It was as if Zoroark's loss had thrown him off balance, or it could have been Haxorus' appearance in this fight.

"Archeops go!" He called as he tossed a pokeball into the air. The ancient bird lashed out violently with a screech, as it appeared from the ball. Its wings flapped about wildly, as if the creature was fighting some unknown force. The bird's violent nature was not an act of hatred for me, but rather an act of sorrow for his master.

It become very clear to me that N had no desire to battle, or to defeat me. If he did, he would have called out Zekrom or Vanilluxe to fight my Haxorus. He could win with ease, yet he chose not to. Was he aware of Reshiram's slumber? No, he would have taken advantage of that by now. Instead, he was allowing Haxorus to run amuck on his pokemon.

"N, why are you-" A loud screech sounded through the area, taking my voice from me. My eyes were forced to break from N as a bright beam shot from the gates that lead to Black City. Before I could even open my mouth, the beam hit Haxorus. The powerful dragon was brought to his knees, trembling as he glared. His mighty form defying the thing that had dared to attack him.

My eyes followed the path that the beam had taken, which lead to an approaching figure with a Hydreigon at his side. I could feel my stomach slip upside down as I realized, too late, who it was. I could feel my anger growing as I glared at the source of my suffering. That inhuman thing that had forced me to become a monster. All of my instincts were screaming at me to rush at him ,yet an unknown force was restraining me. I was glued in place, protected by Reshiram's unseen form.

"Bastard..." I breathed, my body trembled with the effort that it took to hold me back. My hands shook with uncontrollable rage that threatened to snap me in half. I had never hated someone so much, or cared so little about a human being, as I did for this man. He was the very devil in my stained eyes.

"N," The man said, his voice was barely human to my ears, yet it was just as I had remembered it. He had crossed the ground to us in only a few powerful strides. He stood beside N, who's manner had changed all too quickly. A look of wicked pleasure replaced fear, becoming the same as his father's. His hand ripped a pokeball from his belt, calling the bird pokemon back. Quickly, without the hesitation that he had before, he released Zekrom in a light of putrid joy.

Despair attacked me as my eyes locked onto Zekrom and Hydreigon, their figures like a knife with my name carved onto it. I was afraid and confused. There as nothing that could save me; I had betrayed Elesa's trust and Bianca's heart. My love would end me and the bond between trainers with their pokemon. It was all my fault and it always had been.

"Haxorus," I began, but a feeling of guilt washed over me. I could not send another pokemon into a battle that it was doomed to lose. Haxorus did not stand a chance against Zekrom and Hydreigon. This was how it would all end; I would fall against the man that I loved and the man that I hated. "Return..."

A bright light snatched the faithful Haxorus back into his pokeball and safely within my own hands. The action was painful, but I had made up my mind. If I truly was a hero, than I should at least be able to save my own pokemon. I had to save them, as they were only the beings that I was capable of protecting.

"Capture him," Ghetsis ordered. Those two words were all it took to send the remaining Team Plsma members racing at me. Their frenzy was reflected in Ghetsis' mad eyes; those very eyes that haunted me. They quickly grabbed me, shoving me over to Ghetsis as I made no effort to resist them.

I was powerless to do much other than glare at the man. I knew that I should be struggling to get away, I just did not have the heart to fight back. I held no plans of a heroic escape, or a dare-devil plan. I knew that I had lost this battle; I had been defeated the moment that Reshiram had given up on me.

Ghetsis nodded to one of the Team Plasma members, whom I recognized as the one that had gone for help. He nodded back, quickly making his way over to me. With a swift, unexpected, punch to my gut he sent my mind into a hazy blankness. I fought back the urge to give in, but it was fruitless. I could feel my consciousness skipping away from me, as the peacefulness of silence washed over me.


	4. That Which has Faded

Warning: Violence

Also, this is unedited. I did not have the time, nor the patience to edit this before the big bang finished. So I apologize for anything that is difficult to understand.

My tired eyes were forced open to the bleak and haunting cell that held me. My mind tired to recall the events that lead me here, but I could remember nothing after forfeiting the battle with N. A soft pain in my gut began to bring back memories of my ordeal, but a sharp pain in my wrists washed out all hope of it bringing me to reality. Iron chains bound me to the wall, digging into my wrists with every moment that I drew in a new breath of life. They quickly stole my mind away from the mystery of how I ended up here and onto more unimportant matters.

The cell was gray and so was the rest of the prison, or at least what I could see of it. Its floors were stone and the bars were made of a thick iron. Dust painted the entire scene while stains of blood dotted the bars and floors. Spider webs dominated the corners, yet I could see no sign of their owners. It was dim and damp with the scent of everything vile. There was no sign of weakness in their guard, or hope to escape as they had taken my pokemon. I was trapped beyond my ability to save myself now.

I shifted my sore body to put my back against the wall. I might as well get comfortable, as it did not look like I would be leaving any time soon. I wasn't an escape artist, nor was I any good at persuading people to my point of view. It really didn't take too much effort to confine me, or to keep me there. I was already defeated, was it really necessary to chain me to a wall when I, quite clearly, would not have been able to escape in the first place?

A loud click echoed through the emptiness of the prison, as someone opened the door to enter. Their powerful footsteps rang like a bell that could not be silenced. The intensity of it grew with each and every moment that passed, bringing them closer to me. I felt sick again and the noise was only adding my discomfort. It would be too much to ask for my life to standstill long enough for me to regain myself. What was the point, anyway?

I knew who it was; I did not have to see him. Ghetsis would be the only person to deal with me. His followers had tried and failed; he would not waste a second chance at getting rid of me permanently. I didn't know what he had planned for me this time, but I felt like vomiting at the thought of even trying to guess. I was in his way once again and he wanted me gone; that was all that I knew and all that I needed to.

I saw his figure coming towards my cell with the look of victory smeared all over his hideous face. He stopped in front of my cell; a small chuckle escaped his throat. He was pleased to finally have gotten me out of his plan. His picture-perfect world was only inches above his high head. He had finally gotten his way and he would abuse it for every drop of blood that dripped from my wrists.

"I've come here to make you an offer," He started slowly, making sure to punctuate every word. He took his time in his speech and manner, clearly showing me that he had all the time in the world to punish me for breaking up his plan…again. He reminded me of a Purrlion that was toying with its helpless prey.

"What?" I snapped, the anger in my voice was clear and loud. At this point, though, I could not have cared less. He had been able to capture me and it left a sour taste in my mouth. I really did not have a say in too many matters at the moment, though, being chained to a wall. I might as well give him a hard time; he couldn't hurt if he wanted Reshiram.

"Join Team Plasma." The words echoed around the room with a loud, screaming noise making my ears fall def. The absurd proposal caught me wildly off guard and left me breathless. The air felt thing and weak as I tried to collect my thoughts. His presence was suffocating my mind.

"Are you out of your mind? Why would I ever join Team Plasma?" My questions flew like fire about an unprotected room. Hearing the shock in my own voice only deepened my confusion. My eyes searched for some sort of joking tone to his face, yet he held none. Was he serious? That thought sent a chill down my spine, as I tried to figure out his reason.

"Join me, if you wish to save my son." Ghetsis' wicked smile returned, ripping me open down to the bone. His proposal made no sense to me. He only needed Zekrom to rule, yet he sought my aid. Was he trying to get me out of the way? No, he would have just killed me. Unless…N was beginning to fight against him. No matter how much I tried, I could not comprehend the reasoning behind his offer. Maybe…he really had gone insane.

"What do you mean and where is Cheren?" I snapped, although it lacked the aggression that it had previously held. The fact that I had not seen Cheren in any of the cells made me worry. In fact, I did not see any other living being in their prison. I was alone, aside from the man that stood outside of my own cell. I had thought that they would have kept Cheren down here, but it would seem that I was wrong.

"Join Team Plasma and no harm will come to N, or your friend," Ghetsis stated nonchalantly, "It's your fault, remember that." The words were bitter and harsh to my ears. I could not fathom the reason to Ghetsis' threats, but I knew the meaning behind his last sentence. I had not forgotten my crime, but, apparently, he had lost the meaning in his own.

"Damn it, I don't understand you. Why would you hurt N and why go to all of the trouble of capturing Cheren?" I yelled, my words laced with rage and innocent confusion. My ignorance to the truth had been splashed all over the cell; fruitlessly trying to protect me from harm. I had been dormant for far too long to get involved now and it was beginning to show.

"I told you why already; join me." There was a hint of frustration in his voice, though he kept himself composed. I was clearly not understanding something, but it made no difference to me. I had little choice in the matter. I could not let any harm come to befall them, even if I had to go against my own will to ensure their safety.

"Think about it," Ghetsis stated, as he turned to walk away. I listened to his steps as he left, each one making me lonelier than the last. I was alone and broken. What else could he possibly do to me? Nothing, not even my pride could be tested to last much longer. I had failed, yet again.

I leaned my head back against the wall, closing my eyes. Silence consumed me in its cold arms, bringing sorrow to me. A sigh escaped my mouth; I let my mind wander to distant memories. Their joy, though, fell against one memory that surrounded me; forcing my mind to focus on that horrendous night.

_"__Listen __to __me,__N; __Ghetsis __is __not __here __to __help __you.__He __wants __to __take __over __Unova, __not __liberate __pokemon,__" __My __voice __was __steady ,__but __I __could __not __hold __back __the __frustration __in __my __tone. __Too __long __had __I __been __trying __to __force __N __away __from __his __father__'s __evil __grip, __yet __I __cared __too __much __for __the __man __to __let __him __be __dragged __around __by __that __tyrant._

_ N's room was confined within the walls of Team Plasma's castle, tucked safely away from the outside world. Its joyous and childish appearance was dusted with darkness. Toys were scattered about where one of his pokemon had left them, as they were missing from their usual home. The room was no different than a child's, but it lacked the feeling of warmth. The toys brought no sense of happiness to the room; instead they coated it with a helpless innocence._

_ "I don't think that my father would do something like that, Touya," N stated. His voice was filled with distress and confusion. My heart was screaming in pain as I watched him. I wanted to help him to understand that he was being used. I wanted nothing more than to protect him. _

_ "Pleas, N, you have to believe me."I was desperate to get him to listen to me, but I could not get him to change his mind. My will to argue with him was fading. The last thing that I wanted to do was accidently hurt him._

_ "Touya…I don't know what to think," N's voice was weak. It lacked the flare that he usually had. There was nothing that I could do to convince him. I could only keep him safe, if I could even do that. I feared Ghetsis' plans for N and I could not even begin to guess at them. _

_ "I'm sorry," I pulled N close to me, holding him against me. I put my hand on his head and leaned my forehead against his. A light blush appeared on his face, but he quickly looked away from me. "But try to be careful," I whispered in warning. I felt him flinch against me for some odd, unknown reason. I disliked taking advantage of him, but I refused to leave him at his father's mercy. _

_ The sound of running feet broke me from my thoughts. Damn, Ghetsis had finally found me out. I broke away from N, leaving the comfort of his warm embrace. I could still see the sorrow in his pale, green eyes, though they were now fogged over by worry. I didn't want to leave him again, but his trust in his father let me no other option._

_ "Hurry, hide," N stated quickly as the footsteps gained in speed. He turned his back to me to face the door, as if waiting for the grim reaper to appear. My eyes stayed on him for a moment only to be torn away by the oncoming Team Plasma members. I hid among the toys near the back wall, invisible to anyone who did not look very hard. _

_ A loud knock sounded through the room, though the door was thrown open before it could have been answered. The door was slammed against the wall as five Team Plasma members rushed in, ignoring the surprised look on N's face. Their expressions said everything that was needed, yet they felt the need to speak and linger. _

_ "My Lord N, there is an intruder." One of them stated. His hand was placed on a pokeball that was attached to his belt, His eyes flashed about the room, though I could not tell if it was out of fear or concern. He appeared to be the leader of the group, but I was simply guessing based on his former willingness to step up. _

_ "I haven't seen anyone, but please be careful," N said in his usual tone and speed. He came off a bit nervous, but the soldiers did not seem to pick up on it, or ignored it completely. He seemed to put the Team Plasma members at ease, as they had dropped their guard._

_ They left the room after a few moments of inspection, which assured them of the safety of their king. N watched them leave. He waited until they were out of sight and quickly closed the door behind them. I could hear a sigh of relief come from his mouth as he turned to face me. _

_ "I better get going," I stated while climbing out of my hiding place. It would be trouble for N if they caught me in his room. Though, it would be bad for me as well, especially if anyone found out about my relationship with N. I was supposed to be destroying Team Plasma, not running around trying to keep their king afloat. _

_Admittedly, my relationship with N had made feel like a traitor at times. I felt guilty for betraying the trust of those who had faith in me and for failing to beat Team Plasma. I hated lying to my friends. Above all else, though, I hated having to leave knowing that I could lose n to Ghetsis' twisted mind at any given moment._

"_Be careful…" N said, looking at the floor as he spoke. I could not imagine what he was thinking about, but a feeling of dread fell upon me with sickening quickness. Something was very wrong, but my poor intuition was helpless to sort it out from the wreckage. I could feel an ominous hand around my throat as if someone had gotten a hold of my very soul. I feared for the moment that I would be forced away from N and that moment was all too close._

"_I will, please consider what I told you. Good-bye, N." For some reason those last words word was difficult to say and it seemed to linger in the air long after I had spoken it. It had a bad sound among my warm words toward him and it seemed to lack my feelings for him. Good-bye felt out of place and permanent to my weakening heart. _

"_Bye, Touya," N's voice showed no hint of dread, or any sign that my words had had the same impact on him. His voice was the same cheerful manner that I had come to love. Still, somehow, this did not reassure me. Perhaps I was just over analyzing the situation? I could only hope that I was the problem._

_I left the room, careful to avoid any contact with Team Plasma. The castle was the same as always; nothing had changed. Yet, the same feeling of dread hung in the air. It was suffocating me, even though I seemed to be the only being that felt it. I knew that I was moving much too quickly, but I was on the verge of panic. I could only think about N vanishing from my very arms. What had I done? Why on earth did I leave him there?_

_The fresh air that I had wished for was not granted to me as I opened the door to the front yard of the castle. Instead, rain cried down from an eerie and foggy sky. The courtyard was dark and uninviting to my cautious self. It looked as if it could have been a different planet; the iron gates the portal to sanity and safety._

_Quickly and carefully I began to make the familiar trek to the large, iron gates at the other end of the yard. Crossing the yard was better than climbing those blasted stairs that they once used, back when the castle had not been on level ground. Still, today, it did not feel so welcoming. I felt as if the world was trying to lock me away. _

_Halfway to the gate I noticed something deep in the shadows of the brushes that decorated the courtyard. Its dark colors blended into the gray cement that cut the yard into four equal pieces. It was looking at me with wild, red eyes, though some part of me knew them very well. There was a familiar air around the thing. _

_Slowly and quietly I closed in on the thing, careful not to startle it. A closer and better look revealed the creature to be N's male Zoroark and father to the Zorua N had given me just three days ago. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth as I eased up. I was thankful for the fact that it was not one of Ghetsis' pokemon. _

_Zoroark's breathing seemed off to me and he lacked much movement at all. Something about his form held mad aggression and a wild look in his eyes. He seemed like an entirely different being. He felt like a stranger to me, but I could not quite place what was so very wrong with the creature. _

_I closed the few feet between us, as I tried to figure out what was wrong with the thing. I reached my hand out to him, watching as he flinched in fear. His neurotic appearance and behavior sent worry down my spine. Was this really the same person that had been so happy to see me just three days ago?_

_A loud, shrill cry ripped from the creature's throat causing me to fall back. In a flash, the pokemon lunged at me. His sharp fangs aimed for my neck, but instinct gripped and my right arm flew in front of him. His teeth found my arm, holding onto it without mercy; trapping me under his heavy body. _

_His fangs dug deep into my arm, tearing at the flesh, a cry of pain and shook escaped my mouth. I trashed about under the creature's body, but my efforts to escape him were done in vain. I could feel the madness in his form; threatening to bring death upon me with one wrong move._

_Another cry came from my mouth as he dug deeper into my arm, not forgiving the thing that had stopped him from killing me. My eyes could only watch in horror as the blood spewed from the wound into the beast's greedy mouth. I looked away from him, unable to handle the picture that was knifing my terrified mind. Fruitlessly, I kicked the creature, but it seemed like nothing could remove him from me. I was dead; he was going to kill me. _

_I could feel the fear that surged through my body at that thought. The terror that took my mind away from the beast that was latched onto my arm was worse than any pain he could have inflicted upon me. I could feel myself slipping away into the black abyss of the Hell in my mind. My arm was numb; I could no longer feel the sharpness of the pain not hear the sound of his growls. _

_A bright flash brought me back to reality as Haxarus forced his way from his pokeball. He let out a horrific roar as he quickly grabbed hold of Zoroark with his fangs. In a frenzy of wild pain, the fox pokemon let go of my arm to bite at Haxarus. I was alive._

_My left hand wandered over to the deep wound on my right, gripping it tightly as if to hold it shut. Shock and confusion swept over me, but I was too afraid to give it much thought. My eyes found the two fighting creatures and with them a sick feeling of a guilt that I would not explain._

_Blood splattered the ground as they fought. Zoroark's attacks held nothing but insanity, while Haxarus fought with an instinctive rage to protect me. The two creatures ripped at one another, each one trying to kill the other. Shrills of rage and pain sang out in the empty courtyard as red painted over the once dull color of it. _

_With a loud cry, Zoroark lunged at Haxarus, claws pointed forward. Haxarus turned, whipping the fox with his tail. Zoroark fell back, barely landing on his feet. Without mercy, Haxarus attacked the weakened creature. The blades on his face tore at the pokemon. A scream that could deafen a horn came from Zoroark's mouth. With a quick cut, Haxarus halved Zoroark's body. Blood coated the area as streams of the creature's innards added the final touch or horror to the scene. _

"_Touya, Are-," My head turned to the main door of the castle. N, among a few Team Plasma members, stood there; his eyes wide with pain and abhorrence. I was too distraught to comprehend the severity of the situation. My fear and confusion corrupted my ability to think clearly. _

_My eyes wandered back to the scene that was laid out before me. Haxarus' bloodied figure stood, protectively, between Team Plasma and me. Zoroark's halved body lay in two pieces at my feet; his face only scarred with fear. My body was caked in blood and mud, creating a costume of murder. The red liquid stained me; leaving almost nothing to be assumed. I wanted to cry, but my damaged pride could not take much more abuse._

"_N, it's not what it looks like!" I crooked, unable to make a decent argument. Panic was drawing its sharpest blade to my neck. I could see the Team Plasma soldiers preparing to attack me. The only thing that I could hear was my own breathing and everything else simply felt fake. How could this be happening? What have I done?_

_N shook his head, tears running down his once immaculate face. I had killed his friend; it was all my fault. I made him cry…the person that I loved. I had no excuse; I had nothing to say at all._

_I pushed my weak body to my feet, holding my wounded arm with the other. My eyes lingered on N until I was forced to run by the oncoming members of team Plasma. I could feel the salty tears on my face when I turned away from him, but fear blocked my mind of all other thoughts. _

_I tried to run, but my legs failed me; sending me back into the mud. A small whine of pain passed through my lips, but I was too afraid to do much about it. Shaking, I struggled to my feet only to stagger back. Reality had finally caught up to me._

_With urgency, Haxarus picked me up. He needed no direction from me as he raced towards the gate, fleeing from the onslaught of team Plasma members. He broke through the once beautiful yard, trampling it with cause in his haste. He hammered down the gate, pulling it from its keepers. I did not know where he was going, but I did not need to. _

_I wanted to turn around, but there was nothing that I would say to N to make up for my sin. I had no defense and nothing I could do would ever make up for the thing that I had just done. I was a monster who had broken the trust of the only person that I had ever loved. _

_The world seemed to be moving by in a quick blur, yet it felt like I was not moving at all. It felt as if the world had left me behind and I could not catch up with it. It was as if the world no longer wanted this monster to reside in it. _

_I heard the sound of snapping twigs and sticks as Haxarus continued his run, but I did not know where we were. Everything seemed unfamiliar to me and it frightened me. I lacked the courage to look back to see if we were still being pursued. Even the forest seemed to be against us as it did its best to get in Haxarus' way. _

_In sudden surprise Haxarus skidded to a halt, as angry growls came from his throat. I could feel his body tense as if he was preparing for a fight._

_With the little strength that I had left, I turned to see what stood in his path. A single man stood there; a wicked smile on his face. The demon that I had to come to know as Ghetsis blocked my way. My worst fear had vaporized into a solid form, once again, in my way. He looked no different than the devil to me, in fact, I would probably not have told the two apart. _

"_You survived my experiment, but this is as far as you get," Ghetsis stated. My weary eyes simply watched him with little excitement. There was not a chance in Hell that I would be able to get out of this._

"_What do you mean?" I asked, clearly ignoring the second half of his statement. I couldn't do much to buy myself time, but I had to stall. I refused to lose to a guy like him._

"_Zoroark, but that's not important," He said, impatience growing in his voice. It was obvious that he was anxious to get rid of me._

_A pang of realization came over me as I cared to understand the words. He had done something to N's Zoroark. What is was, I did not know nor did I care, this entire event was on his hands. _

"_Bastard…" I hissed, unable to come up with another word. As much as I wanted to blame him for everything, I could not bring myself to do so. I could have at least tired to save the pokemon. I could have at least tired to save…N. Now, I could only cruse myself for only bringing Haxarus with me on this trip. _

_Patience had left the man, as he reached for a pokeball. He was through wasting his time with me. In silence, he tossed the pokeball up, releasing Hydreigon from its prison. The evil creature starred menacingly at me, its eyes full of nothing but hunger. It was the devil that had come to collect me. I was at his mercy, unless Haxarus would evade the thing. _

"_Dragon Pulse," Came the simple command. There was no hesitation in his voice, nor was there any display of emotion. The words were cold and dead, yet they felt fiery and alive to my weakening self. After all, they would be the last words that I would ever hear. _

_A roar that could only be described as pure Hell ripped from Hydreigon's throat, as a bright beam shot at us. A rebellious cry came from Haxarus as the loyal creature barely got out of the way. Fatigue was beginning to show in his movements, but determination kept him standing._

"_Haxarus…" I wanted the pokemon to stop. I wanted him to leave me to die, but nothing would make him drop me. There seemed to be nothing that would make him leave the trainer that he now considered his master. I could see it in his eyes; he planned to fight until the end._

_A miscalculation had pinned us between a group of trees and Hydreigon's deadly attack. It was over; there was nothing in Haxorus' power that could save us from the dragon._

_The bright light sped towards us with increasing intensity, but a fiery attack collided into it with a rage that I had never known before. When the smoke cleared, Cheren and Emboar were exposed to me._

I passed out after that, so I have no knowledge of the events that took place or of any details on Cheren's visit. Elesa never told me much of the night that Haxorus showed up with me, nor did she ever care to go into detail of Cheren's hatred for me. Everything had happened so quickly. It's amazing how fast one can go from sky high to rock bottom.

"I know that you can hear me, Ghetsis! I'll...take your offer." The words were the bullets to a loaded gun. I could feel the pressure of them pushing down on my chest, forcing me to wish that I could explode for ever saying them. 


End file.
